The problem with hidden anger is that it is hidden. Passive-aggressive actions can be subtle or hard to spot. The quiz is taken from the book Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness. Take a minute to assess how you're doing. To complete this brief questionnaire, write down on a sheet of paper either "yes" or "no," regarding your own behavior. If your tempted to write down "sometimes," determine the frequency involved so that you can gauge the degree of difficulty your having.
Hidden Anger Quiz
- Was anger prohibited in your home as a child?
- Did you (or do you) struggle to please your parents?
- Would you describe your parents as having a negative attitude when you were growing up?
- Do you take actions to protect your status quo?
- Do you use brief answers or short phrases to express yourself?
- Do you smile when you're actually frustrated?
- Do others tell you about an interpersonal problem they think you have that you don't see?
- Are you ever intentionally slow performing a request?
- Do you tell others that you don't understand their request or concerns so that they'll leave you alone?
- When you disagree, do yo fell less anxiety by silencing your frustration?
- Do you see things mostly in black and white, with very little falling into the gray area in between?
- If you see a coworker make a big mistake, do you keep quiet?
- When afraid to share your opinion, do you later resent things not going your way?
- Do you bristle when others criticize your work?
- Do you soothe uncomfortable feelings with food, alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling?
- Do you often feel that problems you encounter are someone else's fault?
- Do you continue an argument past its logical end?
- Does fear of rejection prevent you from taking actions?
- Do you feel that others can make better decisions than you can?
- Have you ever turned in projects that contained errors or omissions that would cause problems for someone?
- Do you yearn for more freedom in a relationship but at the same time wish to close?
- Have you ever had hard time following the wishes of those in authority?
- Do you resent someone telling you how to do a better job?
- Do you keep your feelings inside for so long that you eventually explode unexpected outbursts?
- When a person is too demanding of you, do you look for ways for him to fail?
- Have you put your foot in someone's path because you resented path person's good fortune?
The purpose is not to give a definitive "score" but to alert you of the presence of your own hidden anger, needs, fears, and things you might be avoiding. The more "yes" answers you have tallied the more likely it is that you're concealing emotions, including anger. Concealing anger makes anyone much more apt to react inappropriately or in a passive-aggressive manner.